Lilith made her appearance during the fourth week of Advent, between our contemporary and traditional worship services. During Advent our custom is to gather in small groups each week to discuss that week's sermon topic. On this day, the sermon explored the similarities between Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Eve--the mother of us all. Our new pastor, Jerry Andrews, preached a deeply profound and challenging sermon centering on the statements of God to the Serpent and to Eve. In it he unpacked the meanings of the prophecy given regarding how the Serpent would crush the heel of messiah and the messiah would crush the head of the Serpent. Between our two church services, Lilith, a young and newly homeless woman, wandered into the church building. Our church administrator, looking to greet newcomers, welcomed her and showed her to one of the big round tables where six church members were about to begin their discussion.
As groups were gathered around a dozen or so tables discussing the sermon, our church administrator, Riley, came to me and said that a young woman had walked in and was asking for assistance of some kind. This is not an unusual occurrence for our church, located as it is in the downtown heart of a major city--San Diego. In fact, on any given Sunday we will have a handful of street people come into the church--either because they know we have coffee and doughnuts in the fellowship hall or perhaps because they they saw our open doors. In addition to these occasional visitors, we also have our homeless regulars, many of whom are Christians and attend worship services and Bible studies each week.
Riley introduced me to Lilith and I took her over to a bench at the back of the hall to talk with her. "What is it you need Lilith, and how can we help you?" I asked. Without hesitation she replied, "I want a place to stay--maybe with someone in your church." In the brief moment before I responded to her request, some initial observations occurred to me: for one, she looked very young--perhaps even under age. Partly this was due to her extremely petite build and small features. She had green eyes and her blond hair was pulled back in a short pony tail. Another thing I noticed was that she was very clean and neatly dressed. Except for the backpack and several bags she was carrying, one would not think she was homeless. She must have only been on the streets for a very brief time. She was attractive--blond, and perfectly exemplified the word, "cute." This told me that, though her sojourn on the streets may have been brief, it was no doubt dangerous, dicey and did not lend itself to her getting a good night's sleep. "Why was this young woman homeless and what was her story?" I wondered.
"Well Lilith," I began, "Perhaps we can help you in some way, but first, tell me--how long have you been in San Diego?" "A few days." "And where did you come here from?" "Oceanside" with a hint of impatience in her answer. "I see, well, were you on the street in Oceanside or in an apartment or what?" I inquired. "What difference does it make?" she said with an edge of irritation in her voice. "God sent me here to get help--so are you going to help me or not?" she asked as one might address a customer service rep over the phone. "I'm just trying to understand your situation," I said to her. With that she stood up and said, "If you're not going to help me, then forget it. God will take care of me. I thought Christians were supposed to help people. You are a Christian aren't you?" she said to me in a tone of a genuine inquiry. I had heard a number of variations upon this theme in the past when I'd turned down a request or even hesitated in giving the looked-for answer. "Look Lilith, we usually do not get hotel rooms for people, unless young children are involved and we don't ask church members to open their homes to people we know nothing about so... "You don't need to pry into my life and I don't need to tell you my whole life story just to get a little help from the church. I can see you are not interested in helping me" she bristled as she adjusted the purple scrunchy on her little pony tail. "I didn't say I wasn't going to help you. I just may not be able to give you a place to stay--at least not right away. Why don't you stick around, go to the church service in a little bit and stay for the afternoon meal too. Then I can at least introduce you to some folks, Christians, who are on the street and can show you a safe place to stay tonight, if nothing else comes up. Lilith stood up, declaring "If you're not going to help me, I've got to go." She proudly slung her backpack over shoulder, picked up her other bags and walked off. "Another one with an attitude" I thought, feeling a little frustrated at this ending to a conversation just begun a minute or two before. I also knew that I'd come on a bit strong with her about her past. December seems to be the month when many such requests are made of the church and, since I had recently fielded a number of these kinds of requests--not always nicely made--I think I was somewhat abrupt in my manner with her. Perhaps I should have done a bit more listening and a little less pointed questioning.
As I went back about my Sunday duties--alternately setting up things for our afternoon soup-kitchen and monitoring the behavior of street people in and around the church building--I wondered if our relationship with Lilith had ended or if she would be back--if only for a sleeping bag or food or clothing or for some other need. I hoped she'd return for the afternoon meal so I could introduce her to some "safe" street people. If she were to wind up near downtown for a longer period of time perhaps she would attend our Thursday evening discipleship class, which is geared toward street people.
The next time I passed through the fellowship hall, I heard a hymn being played on the piano. It was Lilith. Her petite frame looked very small at the piano, even at that little blond-wood spinet. Nonetheless, the sound of her playing was very confident, bold even--and obviously exceptionally skilled. Some people had gathered around to listen and to sing. I joined them for part of one hymn. She also played parts of some classical pieces. It was as if she were doing a medley to display her virtuosity and to say to us, "See, I am really talented--and I am a Christian playing Christian hymns--now will you help me?
Lilith did not come for the afternoon meal or to get a sleeping bag. I wondered if we'd seen the last of her. The following Tuesday a friend of mine, Jamie, came by the church and wanted me to listen to a Beethoven piece he was working on. He played it for me on the big Steinway Grand in the sanctuary. Afterwards I walked with him to the exit door. There was Lilith. I greeted her and offered, "Lilith, I know we got off to a rough start on Sunday. I may have come on a little strong in questioning you, but then you had an attitude as well. I apologize. I could have been more tactful." She looked at me, and offered, "That's O-K, I'm sorry for getting mad. I hadn't gotten much sleep and my nerves were on edge." "Good" I said, "we can start over." "Look" she said, "I don't have to stay in any one's house like I said before. I can just stay at a hotel or at this hostel I saw downtown. It's only about thirty bucks" I purposely almost never give an immediate answer to a request. I want time--if only a minute or two--to mull it over. Just then it occurred that Jamie was still at my side and I had an idea. "Jamie, would you like to practice that Beethoven piece again, but with a new audience? Perhaps Lilith here would like to listen, and after maybe she would like to play the Steinway herself." Turning back to Lilith I said, "would you like to do that Lilith? If so, while you two are at the piano, I'll think about your request. When you're through it will be lunchtime. We can go have lunch and talk it over." With that Jamie and Lilith headed for the sanctuary and I to my office. I didn't know her well enough to put her with a church family, but we had enough money remaining in our "Aid to the Needy" pot that we could afford to pay for a night or two at a low rent hotel. What I needed to discern though was if she was just "playing" us to get a room and would be going--or had been going--from church to church scamming them for rooms and money. Being young, female, petite and cute, she would have no trouble at running this kind of a game if she wanted to. This is one great advantage homeless women have over homeless men. People in general are much more willing to help a woman off the street than a man. That's probably not really a bad thing. As we left the church building, Jamie slipped me two twenty dollar bills. I knew he meant for me to use it to get her a room.
Jamie took us to Mimo's in Little Italy. India Street was crowded, cold and Christmasy and we had a wonderful pizza meal. Lilith seemed hungry and ate heartily. Lunch conversation began with talking about music. Lilith told us she not only played piano, but almost any instrument you could name. The majority of our conversation however centered on God and how one makes spiritual progress. Jamie is always ready and very willing to initiate conversation around God and the question of how one can come to know and love God more. Lilith was right at home talking about God and seemed to want to impress us that she too knew her Bible and could hold her own in such a conversation. She even questioned us about our relationship with God as if to check us out to see if we were authentic, or were perhaps just churchy religious talkers. Lilith was very open in discussing God and her spirituality, but very guarded when the conversation ever broached her current life circumstances or background. We did however learn that she came from a large family and had been converted at the age of three.
After lunch I told Lilith that the we'd pay for a room for her for the night. We went to the Center City Inn, near the church, but they would not rent a room to her without I.D. Next we tried a hotel equally close, but a little more expensive--the West Park Inn. The manager had to OK it, but she got in. A non-smoking room for $55.00. We said goodbye to Lilith, wished her well and left. Would we see Lilith again, or would she seek to get some other church to foot the bill for another night?
The next day I was summoned from my office by the church secretary who informed me that there was a young woman at our door seeking assistance. It was Lilith. When I met her at the door I noticed she looked more rested, relaxed. I also notices, as I greeted her, that she seemed less wary and guarded. "I need to go to Kansas City" she said without hesitation. I remembered that on Sunday, when I had tried to find out something--anything--about her family and her past I'd asked her is she had any Christmas traditions she she grew up with or that she practiced each year. "Yes," she said, "I go to Kansas City for the 'One Thing' gathering." I hadn't heard of it and it seemed an odd tradition to have for Christmas. "Do you mean for that conference you spoke about?" "Yes, the International House of Prayer puts it on and I really want to go there. I need to go there. It starts right after Christmas. I have friends that go. They'd let me stay with them." Again, I didn't want to give an answer right off the bat so I told her, "We'll, I don't know. I'm not sure we can do it. It's at the last minute and the fare will be more because of that. Um, tell you what--I am just about to take George, an elder and my assistant, to lunch and you can join us. We'll talk it over and if you can convince me it's your best move right now, then we may try to find a way to help.
At lunch George and I talked to her and she seemed to open up a bit more than she had previously. She told us she was from Ohio, that her parents had divorced when she was eleven and that she wanted to someday have a family of her own. Within a few minutes of talking about her family, she revealed that she was separated from her husband and had a three-and-a-half year old son who lived with her mother. Lilith was finally letting us get to know her. She told us that She had given her life to Jesus as a very young child, but "then I saw some really bad things some Christian leaders did and I fell away and lived a life of sin for years. But then I was filled with the Holy Spirit at the One Thing Conference in 2004. I went again in 2007. That's why I have to go back there--to be made whole." "In what way do you need to be made whole," I asked, knowing I was pushing the envelope of her comfort zone. "It's... Well... It's private--just between me and God." "No problem" I said. "We all have areas where we need to be made whole--and no one has to share anything more about themselves than they are comfortable with." I was beginning to think that Lilith had probably left her husband when things had gotten rough and was perhaps on a mini quest to 'find herself' before attempting a reconciliation.
Back at the church, as Lilith played hymns on the piano, I talked talked the situation over with George. We agreed that, all things considered, it was probably best for Lilith to go to the conference in order to seek God and spiritual help and to find her friends again. They might comfort her, counsel her and help her. After getting Lilith some cold weather clothing and some food for the trip we piled into George's car and headed for the Greyhound station downtown. There we got her bus ticket. A man was going around the terminal warning people to take water and things because the blizzard in the mid-west was severe and people were being stranded on the highways. The agent at the window told us the bus would get into Kansas City Missouri at 8:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve. I could picture the scene. I walked Lilith to the security gate and extending my hand I wished her a merry Christmas, a safe trip and said I'd be praying for her. She surprised me by giving me a hug and thanking me for all we'd done for her. I felt like a big brother sending a little sister on a long journey. Before leaving I said, "You'll email or text me when you get there won't you--and let me know you made it and if you found your friends?" "Yes," she said, "I will. And I'll send you some money when I get some." "However God leads you. God bless you Lilith."
